My Girlfriend's Cat

This is Bailey...



I can has the 'beetis?



I took this picture yesterday when I got up to go make a sandwich. I could hear the floor rumbling as he made his entrance into the room and plopped over in front of me. I knew what he wanted. The motherfucker wanted my sandwich, and he wasn't going to get shit, since there was only enough for me. I had to stop for a second and take a picture because his bulging stomach and sheer size just mesmerized me. The yellow ovals stared deeply into my soul and I realized he was trying to hypnotize me into giving him my sandwich. I caught myself in the trance like state and snapped out long enough to eat all of it without hesitation. This angered the gluttonous savage, and he began to lunge full speed like a linebacker at my legs. I did some matador type shit to avoid broken tibia's and fibula's, and he plunged into the pantry cabinet, that he proceeded to ravage through.

 

Me after I dodged the beast.

I showed you a picture of Bailey, so you can inform my girlfriend that her cat is morbidly obese. She's under the perception that he was just born a big cat, you know, bigger bone-structure and shit, and that's how he is supposed to look. She thinks the father cat was most likely a Maine Coon. I think the father cat was most likely John Goodman, who was fucking amazing in The Big Lebowski.

If you want more pictures of Bailey, just let me know. I'll throw on my wide-angle lens and try and capture him.