Bob Ross Parody

Here is a Bob Ross imitation video that I think is pretty funny. It's a few years old and you may of seen it before, but it never fails to get a "lawl" out of me.

What is this?

I had just finished eating my kabob platter at a greek place called "Pita Delite", when I had the sudden urge to piss. I look around and make sure nobody had just gotten up to use the men's room, because it's a small place and I didn't want to make the mistake of walking in on "bubba"  dropping off his gyro. By the way, why do you assholes never have the courtesy to lock the door when you're in public taking a dump? That's the first thing I do when I'm about to drown a mud bunny. Anyways, back on topic. I walk into the bathroom and the first thing that catches my eye is this peculiar painting on the wall. There was actually a few paintings in there but this particular one tickled my fancy the most. It was a crossbreed human/rabbit in robin hood type attire that seemed to be ogling me as I drained my weasel. It had a mischievous grin as it grasped his swords handle with one hand and caressed a tree with the other. He had a weird little red buddy on his shoulder that seemed to be gesturing "Come at me bro!" to the hybrid. He was making me uncomfortable, so I angled myself away from it while I finished the deed.

The beast that I captured.. Look at his biceps, they're jacked. The fucker was obviously juicing hard.

Am I the only person who doesn't know what this is? Did I miss a children's book or movie when I was growing up with this abomination in it?

Why is Bob Ross so awesome?

Because he's Bob Fucking Ross, that's why.

I don't need to explain to you why a man who paints "happy trees" and bushes is awesome, but I'll throw a few reasons out.

1.) His overly large AFRO that not many people can pull off, unless you're in a 70's funk band.

Many people don't realize this but Bob Ross kept injured birds in his 'fro during the winter to keep warm and recover.

Sometimes when Ross was home alone, he'd dunk his head in cans of paint and use his curly mop as a giant paint brush, and paint beautiful landscapes on the side of his house. It would be a National Landmark if anyone could find it.

2.) He was the happiest man that ever walked the face of the earth.

 If you've ever watched "The Joy of Painting" on PBS, you'd know this. His voice was almost angelic (NO HOMO), it was just so soothing, like verbal Xanax. If you're ever having problems with depression or anxiety, go pick up a couple Bob Ross DVD's, sit back with a cool beverage and be ready for a calmgasm.

 Many didn't know that Bob Ross was in the U.S. Air Force. It's kind of ironic that a peaceful pacifist, like "Ross" would join the Military, but he had his reasons. Instead of flying an F-22, he would let out a shriek call, and a gilded eagle would swoop down from the sky and pick him up. He wouldn't drop bombs on enemies, instead he would drop candy and painting supply kits to the impoverished kids.

3.) He was a loving family man, that showered everyone around him in his aura-of-awesome. He passed away July 4, 1995 at the age of 52 of Lymphoma. Cancer may of killed his physical body, but his spirit and legacy will always live with us.

 He made us smile with his humble demeanor, and turning a blank canvas into an inspirational oil-painting.

That's just a drop in the bucket of why Bob Norman Ross, is AWESOME.