$95 Million Awarded in Harassment Case

Totally not asking for a dick lashing.

Ashley Alford, a former employee of Aaron's, is being awarded $95 million dollars in what is to be the largest sexual harassment lawsuit payout ever in the U.S.


The incidents allegedly took place at an Aaron's Rents in Fairview Heights, IL. Her then manager, Richard Moore (I'm guessing named "Dick" for short) crept up behind her in the store room and beat her over the back of the head with his meat stick, while she was sitting on the floor.


That very same day, Alford claims that Mr. Moore pinned her down to the ground, lifted up her shirt, and then proceeded to masturbate over her whilst holding her.


Ms. Alford had apparently even called the employee harassment hotline months before the "beating" occurred to make them aware of the lewd behavior and sexually deprived employees. Aaron's didn't take the proper actions or protocol to follow up on the reports and negligence is deemed appropriate for their lack of initiative to investigate.


The actual payout is estimated to be capped around $38 million, due to federal law.


Aaron's had this to say, "Aaron's is extremely disappointed with the jury's verdict and believes that the award does not accurately reflect the evidence that was presented in this case," said Chad Strickland, vice president of associate resources for Aaron's, in a statement. "We feel strongly that this verdict is the result of a decision made by a classic runaway jury, and because of that we are confident that the damages will be greatly reduced. We intend to appeal the verdict and seek a fairer and more equitable outcome."


I don't understand how they could come up $95 million being the right number. I guess she went in and told the lawyers "I was mushroom stamped and masturbated on." and their response, "Well, I think we should pursue a reasonably modest payout, you know, somewhere around $95,000,000." I would take multiple dicks to the back of the head for a fraction of that. Matter of fact, I would be a dick pin cushion for that amount.


How did he hold her down the whole time while masturbating, anyway? Either, he's really fucking strong or he's related to "Goro" from Mortal Kombat.


Also, why the hell didn't she do something about it earlier on in the day when she was being cock-slapped? You know, I might not stick around if good ol' Richard is swinging his dick around like a Louisville Slugger. I'd probably do something drastic, like inform the police? The two were probably involved in a sexual relationship and he called her fat one day, and this is the unbridled wrath he summoned on himself. On the contrary, can you imagine if it'd been a woman committing the sexual assault. The jury would of called him a "lucky bastard" and dismissed it.


I have all the sympathy in the world for her. I know it must be very humiliating and demeaning to have gone through such an utterly disgusting experience, but she'll be living pretty comfortably for the rest of her life.